Happy 1st May :)
Ssup, May ;)
This year's such a short year to me.
After a few blinks, here May comes.
Too fast riteee?
Within these cosidered-as-'short' times, I've been thru maaaaaaaaany things.
Either the sad ones and also the happy ones.
I can't help to cry if I flashback the time when I cried.
YES
I cried a lot this year. Too much troubles and problems come into my life, not invited. Hmm.
Most of the problems are created by me, myself,
And this simply concludes that I'm a Disaster
*sobs*
I can't do anything perfectly.
YES
Humans are all non-perfect.
But me, just because I'm toooooo forgetful, everything, from nearly successful became a trouble.
A trouble tht can't be helped.
This is how I learnt.
I learnt sooo much within the quarter of this year;
1) I learnt not to sleep in the library.
-this also taught me not to trust my friends tho. CORRECTION: bestfriends!Nahh, not tht 'best', but it can be considered as......emm, closed.
Huhuhh . Don't ask me why -.-
2) I learnt not to be depending on someone else that much.
Yesss, When I simply hope tht someone could help me on something. They burnt my hopes.
3) I learnt to have a desire of helping someone sincerely.
Without sincerity, My helps to somebody else are so so so useless and simply nothing!
I hate it how I'm the only one who appreciate people's help , While other people DON'T. I mean Whyyyy??!! Am I really deserved to be like this? To be tortured like this? To be treated as a maid like this, huh? Helloo, I'm a 14-y.o girl. I also know the mean of L.I.F.E !
It's not a thing that we should be sad in it. Instead, We should be happy along it.
Yes, family matters. You won't know :'| Well, kind of near to friends also, actually. But blahblahblah. -.-
4) I learnt not to have a desire of having a BESTFRIEND.
Useless. It's better to be on our own. I used to trust bf before, but now . Nahhh. NEVER EVER AGAAAAIINNN!! >.<
Honestly, I want one . And the one that will lend me her shoulders when I'm sad. Not the one who'll turn me sadder. Also the one who'll help me when I'm in trouble, Not the one who'll let me more into the trouble. Also the one that'll help me when I'm in need. Not asking me to give things I need. Okayy, Shut it all up, Nanieee. =,=
5) I learnt to be simple, humble, not thinking about what people have, instead of what they don't have while I do. Simple to say, be thankful .
Ya knoww, I attempted to do a simple diet to lower my weight. But, It failed. Yes, FAIL. :(
I tried to do it. Well, about the 13 days to increase the metabolism. Hmmm. Still haven't done it. :(
Mak, How I wish u could anytime ask me bout tht. Pelawa yourself to cook the foods for me. Yeahh, That sounds nothing. but enuff to show the supports. I need supports. :(
And the another thing that makes me even more sadder is that.......
I MISS MY FAKE FAMILY..
huhh. U don't get it. -.-
Okayy. Here it is . I mean the story laaaa =,=
This all happened within these four months. SEE? A short time fulled with incidents,isn't it? :'(
And the another thing that makes me even more sadder is that.......
I MISS MY FAKE FAMILY..
huhh. U don't get it. -.-
Okayy. Here it is . I mean the story laaaa =,=
Before, I used to have 'penghipur lara's~ There're 2 of them.
Yes, I treated them as my family, as they started it first.
They called me nenek~ *Okayy Tears are strolling down*
So, Whenever I feel sad, i'll open my fb and chat with them on the group "The Weird + Crazy Generation"
There WAS where we gathered. We've never met in persons. But, the links between are sooooo closed, like a real family.
There WAS where we gathered. We've never met in persons. But, the links between are sooooo closed, like a real family.
It all went normally and smooth also happily until one day, out of sudden,
One of my cucu left tht group.
I dunnoe the reason tho :(
And because of that, the other cucu recommended to just delete that group.
That's really makin' me upper sad.
Ya knowww, We even exchanged our phone numbers and kept on texting till midnight. I still remembered how I used to say "Byee, gotta sleep first. TataTitiTutuLOVEYOU!".
Now you seeeeee, where do the phrase come from, aitee?
Anyway, to my granddaughters, Ana and Limsy;
- I'll never forget the moment when I created tht group. We were all so happy like children gotta go to a family picnic.
- I'll never forget the moment when Limsy kept on bringing new 'weirdo' people, lol. I mean like Lee Donghae. They were all hers. Well, she used to on9 using 3 browsers..
- I'll never forget the moment when I was in frustration before, i will express those feelings towards my cucu and they will attempt to calm me down.
- I'll never forget the moment when we always posted sth funny there and laughed till midnight.
- I'll never forget the moment when I asked for Limsy's phone number for the 2nd time since I lost it, she gave me optional answers; A,B,C and D. Since she had already known tht I'm effing forgetful, she forgave me. Yeahh, I forgot which one is her number. Thanks, dear~ :')
- I'll never forget the moment when u both keep asking me not to leave to bed. Yes, I always be the first one to leave. Sorry, my dears. I DIDN'T MEAN TO LEAVE YOU. BUT MY EYES CAN'T STAND IT. SO........NAAA, GOT ME ? :'(
- I'll never forget the moment when I always say goodbye to leave but then still continued to chat with u two till morningg. LoL. Miss it sooo much :'(
- I'll never forget the moment when ANA SUDDENLY TEXTED ME THAT SHE WAS FEELING SO SAD . I ASKED HER WHY. AND WHEN I OPENED MY FB, LIMSY TOLD US SHE WANNA LEAVE THAT GROUP. I SHED INTO TEARS. MY HEART WAS SOOOOO BROKEN. YEAHH, I ADMIT THAT I RARELY WENT INTO THT GROUP SINCE THE SCHOOL STARTED. I JUST DUN WANNA JOIN YA GUYS CUZ I KNOW IF I JOIN Y'ALL, I MIGHT NOT WANT TO SLEEP, WHILE I HAVE SCHOOL! :(
- I'll never forget the moment when........Ana said to me it's better for me to delete the group. Yes, I HATE THAT MOMENT THE MOST! :'(
- I'll never forget the moment when I saw my family list, both Ana and Limsy removed me as their grandmother.
- I'll never forget the moment when..........*sobs*when I cried because of someone I'VE NEVER MET. BECAUSE OF SOMEONE WHO I ONLY KNOW VIA FB. BECAUSE OF SOMEONE WHO I REALLY CARED, JUST LIKE MY OWN FAMILY. YES! WE CAME FROM DIFFERENT RELIGIONS, BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN WE HAVE TO END LIKE THIS, AITEE?
OMG, GIRLSSSS~ WAS IT MY FAULT? TELL ME~~
NAAAAAAWWWW, I LOST MY JOKERS. I LOSE MY FAMILY. I LOSE THE ONES WHO ALWAYS CHEER ME UP WHEN I'M BROKEN. I LOST THEM
I LOST THEM!
This all happened within these four months. SEE? A short time fulled with incidents,isn't it? :'(
I dunnoe why. This year is too bad for me. I kept on having a sad feeling more than happy. Why? And yeaa. ~ Mid-Year Examination is around the corner.
Last test, I got sososososososso low marks, and the worst so far.
So, Nanie dah nekad, to work harder.
I even deactivated my fb account. So that, I could be focused on exams and studies. Mom, Support me , please? :)
Eventhough exams are like threatening ma mind, but it's quite important for my future. So, I'll be focusing on it ;)
Yess.. frustrated while studying? Bhahaha. That's effin' normal, duddeeee ;)
So, TataTitiTutuLoveyou! <3
Anyway, I'm sureeeee none of my cucu will read this.
But pleaseee~ trust me. I love u two!
REALLY REALLY REALLY LOVE YOU!
YES, I MIGHT LOOK SO CALM WHEN ANA TEXTED ME.
BUT INSIDE, I WAS SOOOOO BROKEN. I KNOW IT WAS ALL MY FAULT.
I'M SORRY. PLEASEEE~ FORGIVE ME ~ I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT U, I MEAN IF I DID.
Well, I wish we could be like before, again~ :') Pleaseeee~
tsktsktsk
My next wishlists:
Anyway, I'm sureeeee none of my cucu will read this.
But pleaseee~ trust me. I love u two!
REALLY REALLY REALLY LOVE YOU!
YES, I MIGHT LOOK SO CALM WHEN ANA TEXTED ME.
BUT INSIDE, I WAS SOOOOO BROKEN. I KNOW IT WAS ALL MY FAULT.
I'M SORRY. PLEASEEE~ FORGIVE ME ~ I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT U, I MEAN IF I DID.
Well, I wish we could be like before, again~ :') Pleaseeee~
tsktsktsk
My next wishlists:
- To be much more stronger in life. Don't get broken so easily, Nanie. BE STRONG!
- Be smarter. LOOK! Sabby's all smarteey. And all teachers keep on praising her. Nanie, This is the right time for u to be jealous. Defeat her, or at least BE LIKE HER!
- Stop being a trouble-maker. Friends, I know I also bring troubles to y'all. But that's really me. Am a disaster. I dunnoe why. When I tried not to make problems , They'll keep coming and even more! :'(
LAST WORDS: I'M SORRY, FRIENDS. IF I KEEP ON HURTING Y'ALL. YES, I REALIZED IT. I KNOW MY FAULTS. I KNOW Y'ALL HATE ME! Y'ALL TALKING BEHIND ME! I KNOW IT ALL. AT LEAST, MY INSTINCT SAID SO. :/
I know, I'm asking for apologizes like there's no tomorrow. Yes, I'm afraid of it tho :'(
Pleasee~ I'm begging y'all, my freinds, and frenenemies,
FORGIVE ME. FORGET ALREADY ALL MY MISTAKES. BE HONEST TO ME. TELL ME WHAT MY WRONGS~ PLEASEEE~ I'M BEGGING :')
I know, I'm asking for apologizes like there's no tomorrow. Yes, I'm afraid of it tho :'(
Pleasee~ I'm begging y'all, my freinds, and frenenemies,
FORGIVE ME. FORGET ALREADY ALL MY MISTAKES. BE HONEST TO ME. TELL ME WHAT MY WRONGS~ PLEASEEE~ I'M BEGGING :')
Naaaaw, Let's look ahead to our future ,
Nanie ♥
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